Thursday, January 10, 2008

12 weeks!







Sniff...sniff...They are growing up so fast! My precious little boys are now 12 weeks old. Where oh where does the time go?!?! It seriously feels like yesterday I just had them-and felt them move one last time before they entered the world. What an absolute magical moment it was. In a way they look the same. But when this picture was taken...they couldn't hold their head up, they couldn't kick their feet ferociously, they couldn't smile when they heard our voices, they couldn't coo and "talk" to us all day. And no-they do ALL of this and then some! The boys follow us with their eyes. They smile as soon as we say "good morning!" to them. They are much more awake and alert and are perfectly content lounging around.

Nicholas is the serious one. We call him the professor. He is always looking around to see what is going on. I think he is just like me. My father has always called me "Scoop Lang" because if something was to be known, I was going to find out what it was. I think Nicholas is just like that! He doesn't want to miss a beat! That head is constantly turning here and there and god forbid he misses something! He also has a way with his hands. It's something that you have to see. He CONSTANTLY is moving his hands around, touching them, clasping them together. It's amazing. Sometimes I wonder what job he might hold down with those hands...A surgeon? A composer? Who knows what the world has in store for him! Nicholas LOVES to talk. My mom was talking to him and he just loved it and cooed right back at her for the longest time. He generally has a smile on his face, unless something is bothering him...He's definitely a bit stronger than Anthony and I think he's going to be a doting big brother. He likes getting his diaper changed now(as opposed to out right screaming before) and doesn't mind the bath so much. He is still obsessed with our wedding picture hanging on the wall-it catches his eye all the time(white dress?). All in all he is just a great baby and I love him to pieces!

Anthony has a different personality than Nicholas. He seems to be more of the "jokester." Not that he has pulled any stunts lately or anything...but he constantly grins from ear to ear. He is always showing off those gums of his! He also tends to spit up just about everything he eats...and the Dr. said it was normal. He doesn't scream in pain or anything, so I guess it is. He wears two bibs at a time, because he soaks through BOTH of them. It's quite gross, and something only a mother could love! He loves looking around at the scenery and is starting to get better control of his head. Once they both do-that means more toys to play with! YAY! He is very laid back, likes to take everything in. If you talk to him though, you just about make his day and he will show off for you. His mouth opens wide, his cheeks spread apart, and the grin shines through. I often wonder how I was blessed with such happy babies(although I wasn't saying that last night!). He does the funniest thing when he is hungry. He will make a noise when he's sucking on his pacifier or he attacks ANYTHING that comes near his mouth. One of these days I will catch it on camera! He loves to be sung too, as well as his brother. I remember very vividly one day we were in the rocker upstairs and they both were fussy. I was praying for relief, but that was a few hours away...Anyways...I started singing to them. And I HATE singing, but they love it-and it calms them right down. When Anthony was in the NICU I would always sing "You are My Sunshine," through my tears, to him. That was our routine before we left. Well-this day I sang it to them in the glider. I started singing the song and Anthony picked up his head off my shoulder, looked at me and smiled. That was one of the most amazing moments as a mom. Maybe it wasn't voluntary, but at that moment in time, it certainly didn't matter. Of course the floodgates opened again...

I knew motherhood wouldn't be easy. It would be exhausting, emotional, tedious at times, and a host of other things. In the beginning I remember second guessing going through IVF. I remember second guessing being a mom. I thought I was bad at it. It wasn't like I had envisioned my whole life. I thought I was a bad mom because I wouldn't leave the couch most of the days. I would feed one, burp him, change him, settle him down, and then repeat again. By the time that process was done, it was time to start over again. I thought I was a bad mom because I didn't give them a bath every other day, didn't read them a book, didn't have them in a routine, wasn't breastfeeding(even though I was pumping...). It was crazy. Those emotions quickly passed, eventhough they do sneak in every now and then...Motherhood is the most amazing job in the world. I love watching my boys grow by leaps and bounds daily. Just they other day they shed REAL tears. I'm extremely lucky that I can stay home with them during the day. Not many people can afford to do so(not that we can either...but..).

Those boys mean the world to me and my husband. They are our world. And we wouldn't have it any other way!

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