Let Sparks Fly!

Oh what a day today is. Er, was.... For it was one year ago today, that my little precious boys found their way to my heart. I didn't know it then, nor did they, what an amazing year lied ahead for all of us involved.
It was one year ago Tony and I walked into the hospital with great anticipation wondering if this would be it. Would this be the magical transfer that would bring our little miracles to our lives. Would we FINALLY be parents? All I ever wanted in life was to be a mom and instead of it the "natural" way, I had to put my faith in MANY people-many doctors, nurses, sonographers, embryologists-who would watch my embryos day after day and "grade" them, and most of all-I had to put faith in my husband, my marriage, myself, and someone greater than all of us. I finally had to. I had realized after going through everything I did-it wasn't about me-or up to me. Someone else had a greater plan. That plan was put into action on February 12, 2007-and it changed our lives forever.
I was prepped for transfer and was wheeled into the OR for my fourth IVF transfer. I was sick to my stomach with worry-wondering if this was going to be it. How would I know? I had to wait 9 days before my blood test telling me yes or no. Tony was dressed in his scrubs raring to go. We had to make a decision on how many we wanted to transfer. I wanted nothing to do with transferring only one. I had been through this way too many times-I had a lot riding on this. What if it didn't work-AGAIN?!?! I would feel beyond guilty and would never live with myself if that ONE didn't take. I was set against one. I wanted two. We both agreed to it. We knew the stakes were high that both could take. I was taking every chance I could. Dr. W said we should transfer one, but I think in the end-we got the final say. I talked with Amy the sonographer, Ellen the nurse, and the Dr. who did my transfer. They all agreed 2 was a good choice-because I had NEVER gotten pregnant any other cycle. I was comfortable with my choice-so 2 it was.
The transfer itself was the easiest one yet. I wasn't in a lot of pain like usual. The Dr. found his path rather quickly-and he called for the catheter with the embryos in it. Tony and I clenched each others hands for support. I wanted to cry-and I think I just may have done so. This was a big moment-and I realized moments later how big it really was...
The Dr. told me as he was releasing the embryos into my uterus. Tony, myself, Ellen, and Amy looked at the ultrasound machine as the Dr. released the embryos. Across the screen came a spark. That spark was my boys. That spark told me everything was going to be ok. That spark told me my dream was about to come true. That spark told me-I was finally going to be a mother. All it took....was a spark...